Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
