I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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