GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
