I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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