i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
