we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
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