This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
