The beer is more important than you right now.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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