Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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