I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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