I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
