worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
