if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Randomize
