my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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