Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Its about making memories worth repressing
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
