Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
