What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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