Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
