one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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