Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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