I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
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