The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
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