I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
