either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I just want to make out with him forever
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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