I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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