he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
