come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Randomize
