i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
