I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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