You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Randomize
