six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
