i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
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