I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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