There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
