hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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