Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
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