I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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