Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Slut skills are useful in every country.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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