I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
