Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
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the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
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I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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