She said her name was "party"
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
