he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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