How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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