Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize