also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
