i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
