he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
