NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
