PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
