lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
These Attractive Criminals Got Modeling Contracts After Getting Arrested
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10