Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess

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(815): View more from Illinois

he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...

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(925): View more from California

is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?

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25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
Read it at the TFLN blog
(410): View more from Maryland

So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.

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(302): View more from Delaware

Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?

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(732): View more from New Jersey

While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.

(732): View more from New Jersey

You said you were "testing the product for Chris."

(848): View more from New Jersey

I'm a bad man.

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(801): View more from Utah

My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"

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(281): View more from Texas

Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.

(713): View more from Texas

I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.

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