Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(407): View more from Florida

tod's in jail

(863): View more from Florida

he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.

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(407): tod's in jail (863): he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am. http://tfl.nu/355g

Replies (11) Good night (2538) Bad night (818)
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(410): View more from Maryland

Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.

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(410): Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight. http://tfl.nu/1lc5

Replies (6) Good night (4497) Bad night (691)
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(530): View more from California

shit pants at work. discarded underwear.

(1-530): View more from California

just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?

(530): View more from California

yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.

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(530): shit pants at work. discarded underwear. (1-530): just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now? (530): yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye. http://tfl.nu/oxzl

Replies (44) Good night (987) Bad night (4907)
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(314): View more from Missouri

I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?

(505): View more from New Mexico

The responsible thing...show them the break room.

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(314): I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do? (505): The responsible thing...show them the break room. http://tfl.nu/55u1

Replies (25) Good night (4150) Bad night (926)
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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.

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(267): i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said. http://tfl.nu/hb96

Replies (58) Good night (6918) Bad night (743)
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(910): View more from North Carolina

He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.

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(910): He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts. http://tfl.nu/0rlv

Replies (22) Good night (3191) Bad night (1564)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium

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(717): dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium http://tfl.nu/wa3w

Replies (20) Good night (5271) Bad night (1158)
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(916): View more from California

Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?

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(916): Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool? http://tfl.nu/8wpx

Replies (15) Good night (6704) Bad night (1525)
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(216): View more from Ohio

my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.

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(216): my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win. http://tfl.nu/rx98

Replies (15) Good night (3531) Bad night (1529)
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(207): View more from Maine

Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.

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(207): Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them. http://tfl.nu/x39b

Replies (6) Good night (3301) Bad night (1225)
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(573): View more from Missouri

I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...

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(573): I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head... http://tfl.nu/us9j

Replies (3) Good night (1147) Bad night (490)
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(970): View more from Colorado

Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?

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(970): Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears? http://tfl.nu/m0sz

Replies (4) Good night (729) Bad night (993)
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(513): View more from Ohio

As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly

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(513): As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly http://tfl.nu/ppua

Replies (6) Good night (1073) Bad night (363)
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(513): View more from Ohio

I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....

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(513): I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know..... http://tfl.nu/0xlu

Replies (14) Good night (2294) Bad night (585)
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(703): View more from Virginia

I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.

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(703): I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is. http://tfl.nu/y1ce

Replies (4) Good night (885) Bad night (243)

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