Texts From Last Night

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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.

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  (601): There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore. http://tfl.nu/nmw7
  Replies (7) Good night (3295) Bad night (1811)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?

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  (250): When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to? http://tfl.nu/e636
  Replies (23) Good night (5500) Bad night (1409)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.

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  (413): im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask. http://tfl.nu/in4y
  Replies (14) Good night (4802) Bad night (1006)
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  (707): View more from California

  She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.

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  (707): She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her. http://tfl.nu/yn7x
  Replies (15) Good night (5192) Bad night (1885)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  It was just a squirrel

  (253): View more from Washington

  You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar

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  (406): It was just a squirrel (253): You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar http://tfl.nu/smls
  Replies (12) Good night (5935) Bad night (1179)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.

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  (+44): It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people. http://tfl.nu/mlxk
  Replies (6) Good night (3393) Bad night (1013)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood

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  (440): I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood http://tfl.nu/iriz
  Replies (15) Good night (1025) Bad night (4660)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.

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  (512): I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me. http://tfl.nu/y2u9
  Replies (10) Good night (1031) Bad night (3304)
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  (213): View more from California

  there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.

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  (213): there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina. http://tfl.nu/2p84
  Replies (11) Good night (2766) Bad night (1090)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.

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  (902): he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised. http://tfl.nu/s19u
  Replies (6) Good night (1064) Bad night (2088)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator

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  (254): There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator http://tfl.nu/goje
  Replies (18) Good night (2691) Bad night (1650)
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  (310): View more from California

  Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.

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  (310): Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it. http://tfl.nu/jpod
  Replies (5) Good night (1276) Bad night (559)
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  (587): View more from Alberta

  I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?

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  (587): I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it? http://tfl.nu/0nlc
  Replies (5) Good night (730) Bad night (1324)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?

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  (757): Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this? http://tfl.nu/omqc
  Replies (2) Good night (685) Bad night (393)
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  (914): View more from New York

  I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero

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  (914): I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero http://tfl.nu/isds
  Replies (0) Good night (816) Bad night (295)

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