She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.