So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.