Texts From Last Night

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  (630): View more from Illinois

  So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.

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  (630): So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again. http://tfl.nu/rreu
  Replies (54) Good night (1122) Bad night (4985)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"

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  (586): i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?" http://tfl.nu/o8h0
  Replies (9) Good night (5179) Bad night (761)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.

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  (307): Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again. http://tfl.nu/btf1
  Replies (60) Good night (7477) Bad night (1299)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.

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  (902): Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather. http://tfl.nu/j9u3
  Replies (35) Good night (1136) Bad night (12785)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.

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  (765): She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it. http://tfl.nu/h4q6
  Replies (22) Good night (6236) Bad night (1161)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.

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  (778): I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter. http://tfl.nu/71jn
  Replies (7) Good night (5263) Bad night (1153)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this

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  (816): I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this http://tfl.nu/u2zv
  Replies (20) Good night (1167) Bad night (6164)
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  (682): View more from Texas

  While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.

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  (682): While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird. http://tfl.nu/l3im
  Replies (12) Good night (1142) Bad night (4112)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox

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  (847): she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox http://tfl.nu/x7gb
  Replies (10) Good night (1030) Bad night (3894)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again

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  (860): ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again http://tfl.nu/2l19
  Replies (5) Good night (2593) Bad night (941)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.

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  (613): I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable. http://tfl.nu/pwwk
  Replies (15) Good night (2366) Bad night (1155)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.

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  (904): whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry. http://tfl.nu/s428
  Replies (3) Good night (1472) Bad night (1004)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot

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  (859): when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot http://tfl.nu/j6dz
  Replies (4) Good night (1611) Bad night (583)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.

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  (201): I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed. http://tfl.nu/jlau
  Replies (3) Good night (684) Bad night (1843)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.

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  (250): Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life. http://tfl.nu/nnhi
  Replies (8) Good night (1012) Bad night (596)

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