fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
