What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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