Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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