and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
