I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
