Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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