I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
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tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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