Sponge bath it is.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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