Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
