I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
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